Confused by all these groups putting out contradictory statements about the AGM? Don’t be. Here’s a cut-out-and-keep guide to nine of those factions which puts you in the know.
Chelsea Pitch Owners Front (CPOF) – Currently holding onto power, saved from being disbanded in October after FCPO intervention. Have changed leader, bringing back ex-leader. Under open attack by FCPO. Now include a member of FCPO who originally didn’t think FCPO members should join CPOF but has changed his mind.
Front of Chelsea Pitch Owners (FCPO) – have vowed to overthrow CPOF (who they stopped from being disbanded in October at an emotional EGM). Trying to increase their membership of CPOF at AGM, but may have forgotten to send in relevant form in time (currently the subject of another dispute). Includes members of POFM, OAPF, TPN, POFNET and POFF. Sworn enemies of POT.
Pitch Owning Supporters Group (POSG). Include Ex-FCPO members and members of OAPF. Active in POFF. Recently observed arguing with POT.
Pitch Owners Fancast (POF) – crazed sect who meet in a Putney bar back room every Monday. Include members of FCPO, POFF, and POFNET, and at least 3 members of OAPF.
Only A Pitch Fanzine (OAPF) – Unaffected by inflation. Historic sense of urgency. Editorial team include members of FCPO, POFNET, POF and POSG. Sold at bookstall operated by leading member of POF.
Pitch Owners Front NET (POFNET) – Include active members of FCPO and ex-member of POFF. Strongly anti CPOF and would doubtless join list of those arguing with POT but don’t seem to have come across them yet.
ThePitch.Net (TPN) – Pitch Owners issues handled by member of FCPO who is engaged in ongoing argument with POT and lunches regularly with leading members of POSG who used to be in FCPO.
Pitch Owners Truth (POT) – Have vowed to overthrow FCPO, as part of their campaign to support CPOF. Anonymous, shadowy sect so it is not clear which factions they are members of, or how much power they have – possibly none. Like an argument, especially with FCPO, POSG and TPN.
Pitch Owners Fans Forum (POFF) – umbrella organisation, includes members of FCPO, POSG, POF and OAPF, but probably not POT. Meet 4 times a year with the alleged masters of CPOF, who attempted to disband CPOF in October and are looking to expand in the Far East.
There. That should make things a lot clearer.
Editors note: it is possible some of the above information may not be 100% correct. Apologies to any factions not included.